I keep notes of hilarious stuff that goes on in here, to use in a TV series a buddy of mine wants me to collaborate with him on when we get out. The odds of this happening are greater than if it was just my idea-he’s actually in the biz. Therefore, I give the possibility/probability of it getting “legs” to be 2.1 on a scale of 0-10.

Some stuff, though, is too good to save, and so I hereby launch this as a regular feature- First-World Prison Problems. Here’s my first entry. Category- WOMEN

I was chatting with a guy who arrived here the same week as I. Don’t get to talk to him much, so when I saw him sitting on a bench outside my unit, I asked him how things are going.

Him- “Not so great. My lady came to see me one time. Hasn’t been back since. Haven’t heard squat from her.”
Me- “Man, that sucks. Any ideas what happened?”
Him- “Not really. Shit happens, I guess.”
Me- “Yes, it certainly does.”
Him- “You’d think a woman would try to look her best for you, when you’ve been apart so long.”
Me- “Yeah?”
Him- “I mean, all I said was, ‘Next time you come, how about wearing a little make-up.'”
Me- “Huh.”