First-World Problems #2

To fully grasp this problem, you have to appreciate the characters involved. One is a U.S. Air Force Academy grad, whose somewhat unique skill-set took him to the jungles of Nicaraugua. How someone can acquire this resume and be a clean freak, is a mystery to me.

The other is my cellie, who quarterbacked his high school football team, and whose work took him to the four corners of the planet.

To perfect this picture, you further need to know that I am seen as the ‘Felix’ of our cell; my cellie is the ‘Oscar’ (cf: The Odd Couple).

OCD Air Force Officer– “I found out the washer I have access to is only available on Wednesdays.”

Me– “Why are you telling him this, you know we have a laundry guy.” (fyi- We pay our laundry guy $12/month by purchasing stuff for him from the commissary. For this we get our laundry picked up and returned, clean and folded, each week.)

OCDAFO– “Oscar says they don’t get his stuff clean enough.”

Me- “How clean does it need to be?”

Oscar- “Look at this!”

Me- “That’s a gray sweatshirt. It’s supposed to be gray.”

Oscar- “Yeah, but it doesn’t feel clean.”

OCDAFO- “Give me whatever you want cleaned in your laundry bag by Tues night.”

Oscar- “Thanks. By the way, you’re my favorite bridge partner!”