From my beautiful bride:
My last patient of the day was a 22 yr old with a laundry list of health issues. His first and foremost is his heart, but he’s been on dialysis for years too. I’ve known him for a while so I continued to see him even though I work primarily on NICU now. Today he was informed there’s nothing more they can do for him and they need to remove him from the transplant list because his body is not strong enough. He’s being transferred to another top notch hospital tonight or tomorrow because he and his family want to see if they can do anything more for him. He’s a sweet guy, not really afraid to die, but he told me he’ll fight to the end. He said he’s more concerned for his parents than himself cause they’re so sad. I asked what his relationship is to God. He said he believes. I said a few things, it was awkward, but I think he appreciated it. When I finished he asked me to lean over and get/give a hug. I walked to the elevator with a huge lump in my throat. I keep telling God I don’t want to live out the rest of our days with this mess over our heads. Life feels too short I told God, it’s going too fast and I’d like some more normal living. Then I was confronted with a 22 yr old who’s life will soon be over. He’s never had a “normal” life.
God forgive me….