The standard federal prison conversation (this one has the added benefit of being real):
Me: Roman, when do you get out?
Me: Sorry, I asked, brother.
Roman: Been down 7 years.
Me: Geesh, how many did you kill?
Roman: None. I wished I had killed somebody.
Vic: Yeah, then you would have done state time.
Roman: Yeah, I’d be home by now.
Moral of the story: When they come after you for a mandatory minimum federal drug charge, take the opportunity and kill someone. At least that seems to be the lesson.